Dumb and Dumber Is Not Just a Movie

Two articles in the USA Today made me think. They had an emphasis on sexual exploitation and assault on college campuses. One article quoted a counselor who said, “IF you plan on overindulging, talk to your peer group about having somebody responsible look out for you.”

That probably hits at least a level two on the dumb, dumber, dumbest scale. Just planning to overindulge seems a little counter productive. I am going to a smorgasbord and eat two pounds of BBQ ribs. And fries and other stuff as well. Not because I will enjoy it, but because I can. “I paid for this and I’m going to get my money’s worth.” The tummy ache we got as a kid when we binged out on candy, cookies, or ice cream, or all three, seems to be forgotten.

Overindulging on inebriants is even more stupider. First it is a poison. People have and do die from alcohol poisoning. And, not in personal experience, but second hand testimony has  informed me that if you do survive, the aftermath makes you wish you were dead.

But the final level of dumbosity, that is one higher than dumbest, is “having someone responsible look out for you.” Think on this for a nanosecond. You all are going out to “par-tay!” The “responsible” person will be in a similar condition to the one being “looked out for.” Jesus said that if the blind lead the blind, they will both fall into the ditch. (Matthew 15:14) I would surmise that a drunk, watching out for a drunk, will be a little less than worthless. Maybe a lot less.

Nuff said. Then an article farther down the page reported that “Tainted alcohol worries travelers.” It went on to note that several tourist destinations, particularly in Mexico and Puerto Rico have had “guests” poisoned and even killed by methanol also know as wood alcohol that they consumed at a resort. (Maybe they should be signed in as “Victims,” instead of guests.) The first time this happened, it was a surprise. The twenty or thirtieth time is getting deep into the dumb scale.

My dad used to say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” You can make the application here. In both of our stories, we see a level of repeated foolishness that is unnerving. Why are people so dumb? And why are they repeating that folly?

Another thing that Dad taught me was, “What is this for?” Is college or vacation a place to go to get hammered? That is not a sports term referring to how Clemson treated U of A in the  last college super bowl. That is a slang term for losing your senses, as in being whacked up side the head by a hammer. If you want to booze it up, stay home where it is relatively safe, providing you have someone to call 911 when you get into life threatening territory.

Or better yet, imbibe a great cinnamon spice tea–hot or cold. It “tastes great and is less filling.” And does not lead to assault or death. Just think of how many news reporters would be out of work if we all did that.

That is “nuff said.”